“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5 NIV
As I walk this road of faith I'm finding out more about the person God created me to be.
One thing I've discovered is I'm really passionate about people. This comes as a surprise as something I've always said is I don't like people. It became a thing so that even whenever we went somewhere as a family like camping we'd say we wouldn't be getting to know people. "We're just not social people."
I'm ashamed to say we said this out loud many times, particularly in front of the children and this is something I will work on reversing. Funny thing was we always made friends even if just for that brief experience. And we always enjoyed sharing those moments with them even if it wasn't going to continue into the future.
The truth was I didn't like me. I'm not sure I ever have. Logically I can make excuses for how I behaved and who I'd become and why, but I still felt so much shame over it.
To learn that God made us all unique and for a purpose began to soften my heart and my opinion of myself.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
This isn't anything new as a human experience so there are a lot of resources available. This was just one of the first articles I found online that was right on the mark about what I was feeling.
Looking back I see plenty of times to be proud of and I now actively seek to be a reflection of Jesus in my relationships with people I meet. In order to do this I continue to lean in and try to better understand how God sees me and listen for his word on my calling.
This song by Lauren Daigle is just so precious.
"The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me.
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity."
I'm not sure this post has ended on topic from where it began, and I'm not convinced the scripture I've pulled out are entirely relevant but that's fine. If you've felt the same way I encourage you to look for what the Bible says about how God sees us.
"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."
Being forced to social distance due to the coronavirus pandemic has highlighted for me the need to build and maintain healthy relationships with our neighbours.